Your Word

Today...today started very well. I went to church. Came home, and Chad helped me get my things together to move most of it to Alison't house. He was to be moving the big things, like my bed, next Saturday, with help from one of our friends. We made two trips to Alison's, cooked dinner, and he watched some football and I straightened up some in my room, to create room for the bed. Then, out in my car, I had been charging my phone. Two messages. One from yesterday, when I had tried to call Chad. The second, from Gina, my roommate (where I was moving from). She said Jennifer had called, and would not be moving in. And that she had committed herself to someone else! Something about wanting to get started sooner, and she had wanted to start moving in today! And her job situation...let me show you what was in an email from Jennifer, sent to Gina (cc'd to me):

"What are my options for moving in? I am somewhat flexible.
If the old roommate needs to wait until the weekend after the 1st of feb.
because feb. 1 is in the middle of the week - that would work for me."

If she had said anything about wanting to be in this weekend, I would have been out. But, I see no reference to urgency. Do you? She had mentioned earlier in this email (which was a collection of emails between her and Gina) that she was concerned about the small size of the room and and closet. I called Chad, incensed. We feel that she had second thoughts and and reconsidered. How rude is this woman? She tells us yes, and sets us all up. The three of us, and Alison. Chad, who helped me move. Chris, who committed to helping next weekend. What good is someone's word?

And of course, Gina would argue that mine is crap, too. That I agreed to be here through the end of my sublease. Which, it turns out, I should have read better. It locks me in until she finds someone. I have since found out that most subleases have a 30 day clause in them for finding someone. At the time I signed it, it didn't matter. I didn't think I would move. But I didn't remember...I am stifled. Embittered, like her. I feel I have no space. She would tell me that I needed to rearrange my room so it looked more spacious when people came through. Living here is not mentally healthy for me. Especially with my mental history. And I can't just move over to Alison's. I can't afford the double rent. And if I moved over, tried to swing it, what would be her incentive to find someone? It would be what she would want: the empty room. So, for wanting to escape and move out, this is all my fault. I am the bad guy, not the girl who gave a commitment to move in and backed out. Gina even had the nerve to say she thought she was nice...can she be serious? We all want this to be over!

Did I mention I moved out pretty much everything? That I am down to a bare minimum? That includes food. This situation can't be more horrid. I never want to leave my room. There is no escape. I am so happy everyday to go to work. In fact, I can't wait.